The MOTYs are here!

Please be sure to cast your vote for The 2005 Moron Of The Year Awards.

Oh, so hard to choose just one. Do yourself a favor and don’t look at all the pictures. 😆

Perhaps we could use this for the award:
MOTY award 😀

I am trying out the my Open Trackback links here so go ahead and drop a trackback on this article so I can check it out.

The following have linked to this article:

Happy new year to you, too!

Here’s wishing you all a safe, prosperous and blessed 2006. I never thought I’d see 20 years after high school. :p

Remember, kids. Don’t shoot into the air. What goes up must come down. When you do this you are violating my “wishing you all a safe” part up above.
Don’t be stupid. Leave that to the government. 😆

:hi: See you on the flip.

Happy New Year

Open Trackback to Samantha Burns

How to fix a poll

The media must think we are all idiots. Polls are taken and the results are reported on the news shows and we are supposed to feel “out of touch” if we don’t agree with the big number at the top. We’ve all heard that “a survey can be fixed to support any view” and it is true. If you are ever polled watch out for the tricks they use.

Let’s make up a poll as an example. Let’s pretend that I am from a news show that has a severe left-wing slant. I am going to ask you the following question:
Do you approve of George W. Bush’s actions this past week

  1. No
  2. Yes, completely
  3. Yes, he’s a great person
  4. Yes, except for one thing

Did you catch it? Unfortunately, many people don’t see the problem. All of the “No” votes go into one slot, while the “Yes” votes are split into three different categories. It’s just a numbers game and the pollster knows that it is far more likely for “No” to win in this case.

Now after the votes are tallied the news caster can now give you the “results”. 44% of Americans polled disapprove of Bush’s actions last week while only 20% agree (only reporting the “Yes, completely” votes). They want you to feel stupid if you only agree with 20% of Americans.

So, there you have it. If you want to take a survey and you want it to turn out a certain way, just divide the opposing views choice into smaller pieces and you win every time.

Ow! My bandwidth is clogged.

Only one thing annoys me more than uncompressed images and that’s SPAM!

A decent digital camera is cheap these days. Just about everyone owns one. Unfortunately, not everyone understands that a 2 Megapixel jpeg weighs in at about half a megabyte. Don’t get me wrong, I like when people send me big files to work with but having 45 half-meg pics on a web page all shrunk down to size using height and width attributes is nothing but annoying, even with broadband. That’s not to mention those that use these gigantic files as an avatar on their favorite forums.

Speaking of forums, those that allow image uploads really get abused by these guys. Come on, people, let’s compress and resize those images and treat your favorite forums better. Bandwidth isn’t free, ya know?

OK, so let’s get down to business. I use Adobe Photoshop so I’ll show you how to get those images down to size the way I do it.

Step one – Crop and Resize

Don’t use height and width attributes in your image tags to resize your images. Make the picture the size you need it to be. This is the number one way to reduce image size and bandwidth use.

Here is my test image [edit – test image removed because some morons were hotlinking to it] weighing in at 796kb straight from my 2.2 Megapixel Kodak DX3500 (which exports jpegs at 230 pixels per inch). Computer monitors usually show information at 72 pixels per inch so that is how I set all of my images.

I am going to open it in Photoshop and crop out any parts I don’t want to show in the final product and then go to the Image menu to “Image size…” and change this:
Original image size
to this (notice the resolution):
New image size
resulting in this:
Resized image
which is a 288kb file. Much better but not good enough.

*Note – If, after resizing your image down to size, the image looks jagged and unnatural, then undo the resize (in the edit menu) and then apply a little bit of Gaussian Blur in the Filters menu and then resize it. Who knew blurring an image can make it look sharper when you shrink it down? 🙂

Step two – Compress

Next I use the “Save for web…” item in the File menu.
Save for web menu item
and simply set it to “Medium” under the presets (for jpegs).
Medium setting

Now if you are going compressing a logo or similar graphic (not a photograph) with only a few colors or large spots of a single color then a gif will serve you much better. If you need color matching you don’t want to use jpegs because their compression is based on throwing out some information to get the files smaller. Some of that information is color information and a jpeg over a gif background will sometimes not match but the differences will only show on certain platforms using certain browsers.

After compressing my picture this is the result:
Compressed image
coming in at tidy 28kb. That’s about a 90% savings in file size from the resized and over 99% savings in file size from the original.

So, come on, people! Let’s compress those images and save the bandwidth!

Flash with Standards

I hate Flash.

There, I said it. I’m glad I said it and I won’t take it back. Oh, there is nothing more loathsome than waiting ten hours for a web page to load only to have a Flash enabled splash page appear that says “Click here to enter the site”.

😡 Grrr! I just typed in the address up there and either clicked the “Go” button or hit “Return”! I don’t want to click there just to enter the site I thought I was already entering.

I also just LOVE when I get referred to this great hilarious web animation and I wait fifteen hours for it to load and then a “PLAY” button appears. Do you think I want to play the stupid show since I just waited twenty-two hours for it to load? Don’t make me click a button to do what I already want to do. By the way, here are some Flash monstrosities that are not funny (and never were):

  • End of the World
  • Anything from JibJab
  • Vulgar squirrel thing
  • Anything else you got in your email because I’ve already seen it from two hundred other people that thought they got it in their email first

Flash is evil! Flash is stinky! Flash’s mother is so stupid that she stared at a can of orange juice because it said “concentrate”. (Sorry Mr. T).

All that being said, I must admit my hatred of flash is mostly due to its misuse. A small and quickly loaded animation can make a nice header if it stops animating and lets me read the page and its powerful scripting can be useful (even though I’ve never had a use for it).

Here’s the trouble with it: The code that Flash outputs is not standards compliant and embed tags do not validate because they are not part of the XHTML standard.

Some standards compiant techniques have popped up including Flash Satay (which causes you to create a pre-loader flash file that loads the main Flash content or the user stares a an empty space until the Flash object loads completely), the Unobtrusive Flash Object (which relies on JavaScript being enabled) and Nested Objects with conditional comments to switch between IE and everyone else.

Nested objects is my favorite of the three and works like this:
<object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e–ae6d–11cf–96b8–444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=7,0,0,0" width="150" height="150">
<param name="movie" value="examplea.swf" />
<param name="quality" value="high" />
<param name="bgcolor" value="#ffffff" />
<!––[if !IE]> <––>
<object data="exampleb.swf" width="150" height="150" type="application/x–shockwave–flash">
<param name="quality" value="high" />
<param name="bgcolor" value="#ffffff" />
<param name="pluginurl" value="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" />
This content is only available if both objects fail to load.
</object>
<!––> <![endif]––>
</object>

A chart with the results of all of the methods was posted by Andrew Kirkpatrick & Bob Regan here.

Dump the WYSIWYG

Let’s face it. You can either be a part of the problem or a part of the solution. If you are allowing an application to turn out your markup then, unfortunately, you are a part of the problem. Yes, this includes Dreamweaver and GoLive. I am thoroughly convinced that these “web page editors” are for amateurs and people that want to design a web page but don’t really know what they are doing. These apps are fine for designers that aren’t coders and don’t know XHTML as long as they don’t publish it to the world. Hire a coder to clean up your code or take the time to learn how to turn out proper markup.

Do not use markup for presentation

Tables are meant to be used for one thing and one thing only and that is the display of tabular data. Please, do not use tables for layout. It is much better left to CSS. Using tables for layout is a messy hack often used to “get pages to look the same in all browsers”. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work. Using tables for layout causes issues with accessibility and makes updates labor intensive. It also increases the size of your web pages which increases load time and bandwidth use.
Font definitions should be included in the CSS file so please throw the FONT tags on the trash heap and let’s move on to the 21st century. Using FONT tags also increases the size of your web pages which increases load time and bandwidth use (déjà vu?).

Include a proper Doctype

You start your sentences with a capital letter; start your HTML with a DOCTYPE. It’s just basic grammar.Mark Pilgrim from Dive Into Accessibility

Using a complete doctype will switch your browser into standards mode. This will cause it to render the page exactly as you have instructed it (which may look awful but at least now you can point the finger at yourself and not the browser). Without a proper doctype your browser will switch to quirks mode or as I refer to it “amateur mode”. A proper doctype with an XML prolog will also cause some browsers (IE) to switch into quirks mode so do not add an XML prolog.