Dumb commercials (updated with pictures)

Many of today’s commercials are pure genius. Some of them purposely tick you off by being so annoying that you talk about it and by extension the product they are selling (Head On apply directly to the forehead…) or they are funny so you use the catch phrase in daily conversation (So easy a caveman can do it). Roaming gnomes aside, you know what I’m talking about, right or should I say “Can you hear me now?” (sorry).

OK, so now I’m going to be the shill for Alka-seltzer Plus. GoodNESS! Did you see that commercial? They have a woman with bare feet, big duck-monkey feet, giant gorilla-platypus feet. I know why they are bare feet because they don’t make shoes that big. She plops the alka-tabs into a cup of water and then bends down to place the cup on the floor next to her massive ele-hooves that take up the entire screen except for the one square inch left for the cup. Then she jumps into the cup which magically grows to be able to encircle both enormous rhino-dalian clods and the smaller part of her body (the part that’s not her feet). The alka-seltzer plus makes her feel good and she jumps out of the cup and trods off leaving craters in the earth as she goes.

If someone here knows the lady, I apologize, I’m not making fun of her, it’s just that her feet are the star of the commercial. Good job to the writers of this commercial. I’ll never forget Alka-seltzer plus. Ever.

Trackbacked to:
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Update: 16Feb07

By popular demand I’ve captured a few screenshots from the commercial. If you have an aversion to big honkin’ feet please look away.
Giant FEET!

More giant FEET!
Notice the pinky toe and its neighbor can’t reach the ground and the pinky toe is rolled 90º out of alignment with the other toes.


  1. Everytime we see that commercial, we freeze frame it because
    we can’t believe how ugly that woman’s feet are. I finally
    said…I’m going to google and see if anyone else is talking
    about her ugly feet and here was your blog. I couldn’t stop
    lauging as I read your entry outloud to my honey.

  2. Ah, I’m not the only one that noticed. The feet are so big that some of the toes don’t even reach the ground, especially the gnarled one. Yes, I’m obsessed with this commercial. Kind of like looking at a car wreck, isn’t it?

  3. I am glad I am not the only person whose cranial cortex was permanently altered by those disturbing images. The worst thing is I can’t help myself, every time it comes on, I have to look!!!

  4. It’s unbelievable, I can’t believe that the image is left in the cut. Perhaps they thought you would concentrate on the product and not the feet. I think she’s an alien….the truth is out there.

  5. exactly what Rosie said!! Exactly!!
    Im still laughing as I write this response.

  6. Oh my God! I’ve never seen the commercial but my husband is always talking about this woman and her “ogre feet.” Does anyone have a link to the commercial so I can see this horrible thing once and for all??

  7. I can’t believe I’m NOT the only one who thinks the same way! I’m so happy to have finally found a home. I can relax knowing that I’m not the only person sickened by her feet! Ahhh….

  8. Hahahaha, yes, I am not the only one!!!!!
    I could not believe it either, I had to look the commercial a couple of times, I had to be sure.
    They are not only big, ugly and with gnarled toes, THEY ALSO HAVE FUNGUS!!!! Just look at the nails, gnarled and have a brownish-yellowish-wooden color, and she even jumps in the alka seltzer she is supposed to drink, that is just disgusting! I am never ever buying alka seltzer!!!
    If someone could do a screenshot and post it, that would be awesome.

  9. I googled this too because I wanted to see if I was the only one who noticed the ugly feet, apparently I’m not!! You’d think if you were going to be in a commercial the next day showing your feet, you’d get a pedicure first. I can’t believe the producers didn’t send her off and find someone else on the street that could be seen on camera feet-first!

  10. The first time I saw this commercial I was sitting around with some buddies and scremed out look at that nasty bitch’s feet…we had to rewind the TV a couple times because we couldnt believe how disgusting it was. I am glad some other people noticed it and had the good judgement to post it on the internet…haha…we just need to find out who that girl is!! Anyway we do need a screen shot of it!!

  11. Mark, thanks for finding it! Can you post the video on Youbube and then put a link to the video on here?

  12. LOL! Me too- I really must watch too much tv! Poor lady with big deformed feet! You would have thought they would have chosen someone who was a foot model at least if they were going to use such a close up shot of the feet! I need a life.

  13. Sick, sick, sick (minds think alike) I kept seeing this sickening commercial and my fiance and I would stop the Tevo and rewind, then forward, rewind..repeat. Its compelling. I googled Alka seltzer plus, ugly feet, thank God weve found each other in this support group for those that have been traumatized by this ad!

  14. I wanted to google A.S.P and “ugly feet” everytime I saw this spot, more than that, I wished someone was watching with me whenever it came on. then it stopped. I couldn’t believe how often they ran it. Well I forgot about and now it has been reshot with another woman , a brunette. Wow!

  15. Wow..So I’m not the only 1 who noticed this chick’s jacked up feet? Look at those shits…! Are you kidding me?!!! lol..Unbelievable. I’ve seen better feet on a chair.

  16. Laffin’ sooo hard! I have been traumatized by this commercial for the last year and I finally decided today after the commercial showed to see if anyone else caught how horrible those toes were! my little bro and I scream everytime we see them!

  17. The_Dude, better feet on a chair? HAHA! Nice! 😀

    Yes Chrissy, I also scream in horror every time it comes on.

  18. Here is an edited email I wrote into Alka Seltzer in December 2006:

    I was curious if this email could be forwarded to someone who is
    familiar with the current television advertisements for Alka-Seltzer Plus.

    One of the current advertisements on television depicts a woman who
    dives into a cup of water that has a bubbling tablet in it. A few
    frames before she leaps into the air you see her standing on the ground with her feet next to the cup of water. I noticed something odd about her feet and thanks to digital video recording and high definition
    television I was able to freeze the frame and inspect more closely. It
    was much to my surprise that her feet, actually specifically her right
    foot, is comically disgusting.

    Although this is obviously a subjective opinion of what an attractive
    foot looks like as opposed to a disgusting foot, it comes from a
    significant number of years working in the medical profession where I
    have been exposed to magnitudes of feet. Old feet, young feet, healthy
    feet, broken feet, feet with green twisty nails, feet with nice straight
    nails, manicured feet, smelly feet, even oddly colored feet… and all
    of the previously mentioned in both the dead and alive variety.

    So my question is what exactly is the marketing approach that was used
    while producing this advertisement? Is there some subliminal message
    that Alka-Seltzer Plus can not only help to resolve indigestion but also
    ugly feet? Don’t you feel like by showing ugly feet on television you
    may help to perpetuate and foster a culture that disregards the health
    of their little piggies? Is that part of some ploy to help sell and
    market a product that fixes ugly feet after it becomes a rampant
    epidemic? I don’t want to get into any insider information… but if
    thats the plan I’ll start buying some stock.

    Your curious consumer,

    P.S. You may also want to have that particular actress be referred to a podiatrist

    *****Here is the reply

    Dear Mr.:

    Thank you for taking the time to contact Bayer HealthCare. We appreciate your comments about our recent advertising for ALKA-SELTZER.

    We regret that you found this piece of advertising distasteful because of the shape of the actress’ right foot. Please be assured that we do not want to offend our valued customers.

    This ad was designed to focus on the product’s attribute of efficacy in a way that is memorable. All ads are tested prior to air and this particular one scored positively.

    Thank you for letting us know your views. If I may be of further assistance, please feel free to contact me.

  19. I’m trying to understand the casting process: Long before shooting, they had a storyboard with all the shots so they knew there would be a close up on the actress’ feet. So how do you end up hiring her? It’s not that she’s a stunning beauty.

  20. Thank you google for showing me I wasn’t alone… just saw the ad and i had to see if anyone else was horrified by those monstrosities…

  21. I was JUST explaining this commercial to a family member who had tossed her bowl of apple-jacks over a gross commercial. I was so swingin’ mad that this womans feet were the focal point of the commercial. I did the same thing, i kept rewiding it and just looking in utter horror. I screamed for my husband to come in the room and we stood side-by-side mouths agape for what had to be at least 3 minutes. They missed the mark with that commercial! Thank you for this blog, I am not alone and not to mention reading it all had me in tears. The better feet on chairs comment…. CLASSIC!!!!

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